Was my Uncle Bi or Gay?

It seems that a lot of gay men talk about being molested (although some of them don't think of it as abuse) as a child by an older relative.  The question sometimes arises if that is what caused the man to be gay.  While I don't think so, it is my belief that we are born with our sexual orientation; perhaps being gay may be somewhat genetic.

Well my uncle lived on the family farm, never married, and seemed somewhat preoccupied with sex, or at least so it seemed to my childhood naivete.  He was "known" to date women, but it always seemed that they were chasing him and he was trying to escape them.  In addition to being a farmer, he was a carpenter by trade, and he often carved objects out of wood.  One of these objects was a beautiful piece of dark wood such as walnut whittled into the shape of a very large penis -- about 10 inches long and comparably large in girth.

As a child, he often took me off on various adventures, to go fishing, boating, and camping.  On one of these trips, we went down to the local river and he suggested that we go swimming.  When I protested innocently that I did not have a bathing suit, he said that there was no one around, we didn't need suits and could just skinny dip.  Once in the water which was very cold, I was complaining and wanting to get out.  He grabbed me and pulled me close to him and asked me if I was feeling the warmth of his piss.  Nothing more than that happened.

Also I remember sleeping with him in his bed in his log cabin during the summertime.  At the time, I was an early teen-ager while he lay close to me and told a few dirty jokes.  However, again he never went any further than that and did not touch me.

After he turned 60, he developed prostate cancer and in addition to the medicines he was given, the surgeons castrated him supposedly to arrest the cancer.  One afternoon we were walking on the farm, he pulled out his dick and said watch this as he pissed a blue color resulting from the medications.  On another occasion when we were alone, he pulled down his trousers and underwear and had me feel his empty ballsack.

I have a much older male cousin who also spent many summer vacations on the farm with my uncle in earlier years before me, and I have wanted to ask him if he also had any similar gay-like experiences with my uncle.  This cousin is married and I have never had the courage to ask him.

Somehow, I believe my uncle certainly had gay tendencies, but out of respect for his sister and me, he knew where to draw the line.  I'll never know for sure.

What Is The Right Thing To Do?

What is right?  What is wrong?  Do you always know the answer?  Is it black and white, or are there shades of gray?  On some subjects, we have differing opinions on what is right and wrong.

On this blog, I have maintained that it is WRONG to circumcise male babies, and that it is purely a black and white issue, with no shades of gray.  No reason justifies it, even religion.

Other blogs are concerned with bisexuality -- especially married men with children, who feel compelled to have relationships with other men.  Is it better for the married men to remain married for the sake of their children or professional life?  Or would it be better for the men to get a divorce and pursue their gay partnerships.  Which decision makes them happy?  What is the best decision for the children?  What is the best decision for the wife?  Maybe she would be understanding and want to keep the marriage intact, despite knowing that her husband was seeing men on the side.  Is there a right answer to this question?

A number of other blogs are being written by young gays -- in high school, college, or just starting a professional life.  One of their most pressing questions is "Do I come out?"

What about sexuality in general?  Are we straight, gay, or bisexual from birth and we should learn to accept that reality?  Religion and many cultures say no, that only hetereosexuality is normal.  But why for centuries have their been homosexuals?  Could that be a part of the plan?

Is religion always on the right side?  What about the Inquisition?  What about Pope infallibility?  What about religion and war?  What about religion preaching intolerance?  If you support religion especially with your monetary donations, are you also supporting some of the questions just raised?

Clearly some questions do NOT have easy straightforward black and white answers!  If you are interested in pursuing more about philosophy and morality, I highly recommend that you view Professor Sandel's lectures:  Justice: What is the right thing to do?  This is an actual series of lectures given at Harvard University and now being broadcast on PBS.

The link to the website is: http://www.justiceharvard.org/

I welcome your comments -- both on the questions that I have asked above, and on Professor Sandel's lectures.  Raise a question of your own that does not have an easy answer. Please let me know what you think by adding your comments below. Thanks.