Our Anatomy: “A Pair of, Right vs. Left with Ornamental Jewelry”

You know we only have one body, but a lot of redundancy. Redundancy means having a back-up. Our bodies have a lot of redundancies – two of almost everything. We have a pair of brain hemispheres. It’s how you use your brain that’s important; are you left-brained or right-brained? Dolphins really know how to use their brains; one hemisphere sleeps while the other hemisphere is awake. That way he is always alert to swim and get away from killer whales. I wish I were a dolphin – just think how accomplished I could be if I could stay awake 24 hours a day without insomnia.

We also have a pair of eyes and a pair of ears. Seeing and hearing only requires one, but seeing in three dimensions and listening in stereo requires a pair. If someone claps over here on this side of the room, we know the direction the sound is coming from, because the ear nearest the sound hears it the loudest. Put a patch over one of your eyes as you drive down the highway – that car is how far in front of you?

We only have one nose, but a pair of nares; only one mouth, but we speak out of both sides of it; and I even have a double chin, unlike the square jaw of this beautiful man.

Our bodies have a pair of lungs, a pair of kidneys, and a pair of breasts. A newborn boy is very happy to find out there are two of them, and worships them the rest of his life. Unfortunately, when a pair of twins are born, they each have only one. Pity the poor triplets and quadruplets; somebody has to go hungry.

There is only one belly button, but a pair of sex organs. Procreation must go on.

We have a pair of legs, and a pair of feet.

Let’s talk a little about the clothing we put on to cover all these pairs up. We put on a pair of shoes, and a pair of socks – a left one and a right one – that I understand. But a pair of pants? It’s only ONE article of clothing! A pair of trousers? A pair of shorts?

Boxers are plural. How about a jock strap? We refer to it in the singular, but it protects a pair of balls and exposes a pair . . . of cheeks!

Let’s digress and talk about jewelry. Most of the ladies wear a pair of earrings and so do some of the men, though they usually wear only one, but have to be careful to wear it on the correct side, which may not be the right side.  There are nose rings, pierced tongues, nipple rings, and Prince Albert’s.

What is a Prince Albert? It is a ring through the underside of the penis. Some guys think that the added stimulation the ring will provide causes their equipment to be displayed more prominently; but they have got it all wrong. You see, Prince Albert lived in the prudish Victorian period. He was married to Queen Victoria. The style of clothing then dictated that he wear skin tight white pants, but being the prude he was, he was afraid that his genitalia might show. So he put a ring in it, pulled it back and tied it between his legs!

Today we are piercing and tattooing almost everything.

Well, back to clothing. When we go above the waist, we no longer wear pairs. Everything becomes singular. A shirt, although it has a pair of sleeves. A blouse – never blice! Wear a night shirt with three tennis balls sewn on the back to keep a snorer off his back. A bra is not a pair, but it contains a pair! We never wear a glass, but a pair of glasses, although we used to wear an eyepiece.

Can you distinguish your left from your right? Well it is tough. When you are behind a person, his right is on your right and his left is on your left. But when you face him, his left is on your right and his right is on your left. It is a bit odd. Now here is a lesson for you to learn to distinguish left and right. You just have to learn your Latin. O.D. is right eye and O.S. is left eye. They stand for oculi dexter and oculi sinister. Now the Latin word for right is dexter, from which we get dexterous and dexterity. If we are confused, everything is right or ambidextrous. Olde English uses the same word for right and correct, as in “You are right.” Therefore your right side is your correct side. You think I am kidding? Your left is BAD, and to prove it, the Latin word for left is sinister, and we all know that is where SIN comes from. Back when I was in school, and I know that seems like a long time ago to all you young studs, the second-grade teacher, who taught cursive, carried around a wooden ruler and hit your left hand if you tried to write with it. It was the WRONG hand, not the right hand. Only 10% of people are sinister – the left handed ones! You know, there are all kinds of Latin words for positions: ventral and rostral (top and bottom); anterior and posterior (front and back); distal and proximal (far and near). So are you a rostral or a ventral? The rostral is always on top – just remember being on top of the rostrum.

The electrical field of the cornea in the eye is positive and the retina is negative. How can you remember that? Memorize “It’s positive to look forward, and negative to look back.

Well if you weren’t confused about your body before, surely you are now.

Playing sports going commando?

Just how wise is it to go without some support while playing sports?  Wasn't the jock strap invented to protect that hanging anatomy?  Well, I suppose it could be used for this too, when the action on the field is over:

Well perhaps, I can understand swimming naked, but their seems to be some controversy about whether the male parts contribute to drag and slowing down the swimmer!

Well apparently some jocks think a jock-strap is unnecessary!

For example, this tennis player resting on the sideline:

Or these soccer players:

Specialized bicycle seats (shown) are even made to protect the male testicles, but it still might help to wear a jock strap:

Going commando . . .

(From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)

Going commando (or to go commando or "free balling") is the practice of not wearing underwear under one's outer clothing.

"Going commando" started with commando and similar special forces military units, when some soldiers stopped wearing underwear to prevent chafing. Going without underwear is said to have certain benefits. Possibly from the much earlier term "going regimental", which refers to wearing the kilt military style, or without underwear (also see True Scotsman).

In Chile, the act of not wearing underwear has been called "andar a lo gringo" ("to go gringo-style") for decades. In Costa Rica, this act is known as "andar strike" (to go strike). The term has recently regained popularity after its use on the television series, Friends, when one of the main characters states he would not "go commando" in a rented tuxedo.

Kilts have been traditionally worn without undergarments since their use as part of Scottish military uniform, leading to the invention of such expressions as "go regimental" or "military practice" for wearing no underwear. On the Western Front during the First World War, some Sergeants Major reportedly had mirrors tied to the end of golf clubs or walking sticks to inspect up and under the kilt at parade inspection. In the 1950s, kilted soldiers on parade would be checked by the Sergeant Major using a mirror on the barrack's floor. In 1997, a Black Watch soldier received wide press "exposure", because of windy conditions during a military ceremony in Hong Kong.

Kilt inspections

The term True Scotsman is most often used in the context of a kilt inspection; this inspection sometimes proceeds as follows: The kilt wearer is asked if he is a "True Scotsman". He responds in the affirmative or negative. If affirmative, proof may be demanded, the nature of which can vary depending on the person and situation. If negative, "confiscation" of the "offending" undergarments may be demanded.

Non-Scots and those unfamiliar with kilts seeking to determine the truth of the "True Scotsman" tradition can leave themselves open to innuendo and double entendre, as innocent queries can be turned on the questioner; as with the question "Is there anything worn under the kilt?" being answered with examples such as "No, nothing is worn, everything is in perfect working order!" or "Yes, socks, shoes, and talcum powder," and "Yes, socks, shoes, and two shades of lipstick."

So do YOU go commando?  Participate in the polls to the right and let us know!

Frottage

(From Wikipedia)

Frot (rubbing penises together) is a form of non-penetrative sex between two men.

Frottage, more commonly known as dry humping, is the act of achieving sexual pleasure with a partner or partners, whether naked or clothed, without penetration. This can include using almost every part of the body, including the buttocks, the breasts, abdomen, thighs, feet, hands, legs, and sexual organs. Frottage can include mutual genital rubbing, sometimes called genito-genital or GG rubbing and most of the other forms of non-penetrative sex.

There are many reasons a couple may choose frottage. The most common reasons are as a form of foreplay before intercourse or as a method to achieve sexual gratification without the more sexually explicit (and in some circumstances, forbidden) oral, vaginal or anal sexual intercourse. Often young people will use frottage as an earlier stage of sexual intimacy before more explicit contact is desired, or as a substitute to intercourse to maintain a higher degree of chastity. Also, frottage can be done without getting undressed.

• The term frottage derives from the French verb frotter, "to rub." frottage: The sexual act, involving rubbing, described in this section


• frot: Refers exclusively to male-male genital rubbing without penetration. Confusingly, "frottage" is sometimes shortened to "frot" in informal use. "Princeton rub", "Ivy Leage rub", and so on: slang terms, referring to male-male frot or interfemoral intercourse or both, presumably surviving from the days when these colleges only admitted men.
  

Coming of age in the UK

A reader in the UK just sent me a story of his awakening sexuality at age 12. Now over the age of 50, he also sent me a delightful picture collection of his uncut dick, which will you see following his narrative:

"I have just found your blog - it seems we have a number of things in common!

I too am uncut (infinitely better, I'm sure). I was also attracted to the male anatomy whilst at school - probably as a result of going on a camping trip at the age of 12 and sharing a small tent with a boy who was a year older than me and who started playing with himself openly in the tent. His equipment was so much bigger than mine, and he could probably see I was amazed - he got me to give him a hand job, but he had to show me what to do as I had never done it before; I was really innocent! He did feel so different to me as he was much thicker and of course quite a bit longer and I was just stunned by these differences which had never really occurred to me before.

Then that night when we were in our sleeping bags he put his hand over and felt all down my body until he got to you know where - I let him do it as it was just the most amazing sensation. I had no hair and he seemed to enjoy that. He started to wank me but after a while I had a pain in my groin and had to get him to stop - it seems I was not ready to climax. But the feeling up to then had been something else and of course after that I was at it all the time! It was about another 6 months before I first came. He and I met up a few times after that but we were young and didn't do much more than watch each other. Then after another year we moved house and I went to a different school - but after that I was always looking at the other boys in the showers. Like you I felt very inferior as I was small and thin - and still am. But I do have a very long skin - it continues to cover my glans even when fully erect. I have no need of your Cum Rag, as I can just stretch my skin, holding the end tight and it will contain everything in it a bit like a condom - it's all very clean and tidy!

Like you I had no real concept of actually being gay. I knew I fancied boys, but I liked girls too. I married and have two children; I am now divorced. I eventually concluded I was most likely bi since the female anatomy can also turn me well on, especially if shaved. But I have only had sex with just two women - my wife obviously, and one other lady with whom I had a short relationship after my divorce - she has recently contacted me to ask if we could get back together, and I'm happy to do that.

Anyway, thanks for the blog."

And to all you readers, send me your story and your pictures and you may see it right here!

Cum Rag

Some of the posts that I have been reading recently have been discussing what article of clothing they use to catch their cum and wipe up. Some use their underwear or t-shirts, but most seem to like using their socks. Maybe a cheap man's fleshlight. One masturbator said that it was not too pleasureable because the sock material was so thick that it took the sensitivity out of it. One blog talked about a "sock wank" and others even asked what that was. Well several years ago, I devised a method that worked for me, and it is so danged simple that I thought everyone probably did it the same way. I call it the "cum rag." It is just an old worn soft towel that I cut or circumcised! Starting with an old face towel or kitchen towel (nothing too big because I don't shoot that far any more), I fold it in half and then in half again so that one of the corners is actually the exact center of the towel. Then I cut a very small piece of that corner off, remembering that the hole is going to be four times the size of the little section that I am snipping out. When you unfold the towel, you have a hole in the very center. I try to make the hole not very much larger than the circumference of my dick. Washing it a number of times as you will do, tends to enlarge the hole over time. Some of them are big enough now for my balls to come through as well, and that can be a good thing.

Voila! You stick your dick through the hole and just jerk off in your usual way. When you start spurting, the towel catches it all and there is plenty of clean towel left to wipe off the head of your cock which usually oozes some more, as well as your hands.

Try it the next time you don't have a partner and need to take matters in hand! Be sure to put one of the them under your pillow, so that in the middle of the night when you need relief in order to get back to sleep, you can reach for it. Enjoy.

(Since I invented it, you can pay me royalties by clicking on the "donate" button!)